fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
