Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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