Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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