Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
operation have a gay friend backfired
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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