shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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