White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
