I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
