paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
