so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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