she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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