I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I have fence marks all over my body
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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