i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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