went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize