Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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