you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
