Me too!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
