If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
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