I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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