M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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