4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize