Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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