another moral hangover. fuck.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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