and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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