I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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