Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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