We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize