Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
