Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize