he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
