this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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