see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
