I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
