She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
