is your mom at the bar?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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