Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
