Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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