i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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