New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
