she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
accomplished twins. life is a go
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
