i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
