she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The uberlube is also flammable
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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