fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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