If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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