I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
