I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
