Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
