i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize