you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
