Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I need a burrito and a hug.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
so much tequila, so little girl.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
