I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize