There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
