So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
