I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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