She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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