Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
