Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
