You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
