She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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