Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
