Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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