Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
