Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
