I just threw up on my dentist
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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