after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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