the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
