youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It's Friday. Sex?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
