how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
