Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize