i just had sex bonerless
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
