let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
