hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
