So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
